What kind of woman do I strive to be? 1st part

Since I found Andrew, I can't stop thinking of the moral obligation I feel about sharing my experiences while trying to find him, especially since I'd like to give hope to all my friends who feel frustrated for not having a partner , or who believe that the ultimate stage of a woman is to be married and raise a family . (This is a tenet of Mexican culture)

Wherever we look society puts pressure on you: If you own a car, a house and a bank account, you are materialistic and probably single because men are afraid of your sucess; If you are a housewife and your principal job is to take care of children (although nannies or baby sitters are often the ones that really do it) then you are probably brainless; If you are sucessful and are the head of a company then it is very likely you might be a feminist... and so on... So I asked myself: What is the role I came to accomplish in this life? What is my ultimate purpose?.

It was then that I took my diary and found something I wrote last year to my dear Jesus, and I wept as I read : "My mission in this life is to leave a mark in this world being God's tool to help people around me get closer to Him, by using the gifts he gave me". At this very moment in my life when I'm engaged to be married I wonder If having many thoughts and so many gifts God has given me to use and share , Can I still accomplish this if I am married and have new responsabilities?. The immediate answer that came to my mind was : YES, if you choose to.

In this world where the ability and right to choose can be found anywhere, anytime, and everywhere we realize that "choices" are influenced by different means, television media shows you how you can "choose" between being a "Sex and the City" character , a "Desperate Housewife"... If you don't watch television, or movies then there is another influence in our lives that is the cruelest: Society and/or family who makes it clear, without saying it out loud, that is preferably to be a divorced woman than to be an old maid, and how can one forget those family members who won't ever fail to tell their 30 something relatives - It's about time for you to settle down...-Don't forget your biological clock is tic-tocking...! , or - There must be something wrong about you so everybody dumpes you!.

I beg your pardon? So, now instead of society/family applauding the fact that I haven't made a mistake of marrying the wrong man, it now turns out that the ones who are wrong are the single ones!!. Nowadays since society pushes us to marry as soon as posible and then if it doesn't work, then it is said : - "so what , that's what prenups and divorces were invented for in the first place!; or they might also say things like - "There is no such thing as soulmates, so if you think he might be fair enough just do it so you don't lose your chance!,or -" All man are the same-- drunks, irresponsible and unfaithfull, so don't take it too personally.

Along and beside all this, to my very particular point of view it came to my mind (actually years ago) so what kind of woman do I strive to be?, to my own personal judgment who do I want to be influenced by to get there?, or Will I be really unique and construct my very own model of that woman without anybody else influence me?

Well the answer of some of those questions (if you ever ask them to yourself) won't be found in this blog, in a book, or any other way besides looking inside your own self, getting support from wise people, getting the best out of bad experiences, and from the people who really love and care for you. A key question that could lead you to answer any of these could be How do I want to be remembered?

To be continued...

2nd part click here